I've Let It All Go

I woke up Monday morning feeling refreshed.  Tuesday I felt light as a feather.  Today, as though each breath was fresh spring air.  I couldn't figure it out, couldn't quite put my finger on it, until just now.  I realized that I have let it all go.

When I say this, I mean I have finally stopped living in the past.  I realized that I had been walking through life only half in the game, longing everyday to take back those "missed opportunities", and "could have beens".  But who says that it ever "could have been"?  Who says that if I had taken a different path in life somehow it would have turned out perfect.  I could be living a completely different life and wishing for the things I have now.  Three happy healthy kids, a husband who (although has his faults) adores me, a faithful family dog, a house with a yard...hell, I even have a white picket fence!  These things don't come to everyone, some would even say that I am living the "American Dream", and yet somehow, someone as unappreciative as myself, ended up with this life. 

 I am seeing my life through new eyes which, I know, is such a cliche, but that's the only way I can describe it.  I don't know how it happened, or exactly when it happened, but I am so glad it did.  I am the only one who has been making me miserable.  Don't get me wrong I have always loved my children and husband, but I was ignorant enough to think that my life wasn't good enough.  I my not have seen all the things I have wanted to see or done all the thing I have wanted to do, but who has?  I'm only 28, I'm not dead!  I can still go out and have my adventures, only I will be able to share them with those I hold so dear....my family. 

So now that I have this new outlook, this wonderful feeling of rebirth, what will I do with it?  I will bask in it, I will share it, I will put forth my efforts on the here and now.  The is past is gone, it cannot be changed, only learned from.   There aren't any "could have beens", not anymore, not for me.  Changing my past regrets doesn't mean that I wouldn't have made new regrets.  I am sure in the future I will still make mistakes, have new trials to over come, and yes regret some of my decisions.  But for now, I am going to enjoy the present, let the past be the past, and just let it all go.