The Kiddos

The Kiddos

Thursday, May 9, 2013

My 10 Wishes for Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is just around the corner, so in honor of this special occasion, here is a list of the things I would like this year. (hope your reading this Honey!!)

1.) I would like to sleep in.  Really sleep in (with the door shut and LOCKED!!).  Not the kind of sleeping in my husband usually gives me on Mother's Day, when I practically have to push him out of bed to corral the house full of wide awake children running a-muck in the early hours of the morning because in my absence there is no one to appease their boredom.  Or the kind of sleeping in that came in the very early years of motherhood.  Where "sleeping in" meant my husband would go get the fussy baby, and wiggly toddler and put them in bed with us.  He of course would fall instantly back to sleep and I would lay there for the next 20 minutes with baby toes in my side or being asked repeatedly if it was "wake up time", only to finally give in and roll out of bed myself.

2.) I want everyone to dress themselves.  I mean I get it, I would love to have someone walk into my room in the morning and dress me like an overgrown barbie doll too, but come on.  If it were just daddy, those kids would be dressed and down stairs in no time flat.  Granted, my daughter would be miss-matched, my step son would be wearing boxer briefs because as he has told me "They are basically shorts"(....?!?!?), and my littlest son would have his pants and shirt on backwards and inside out, but the point is they would do it themselves.

3.) I want to shower undisturbed.  How nice it would be to not have the shower door thrown open every five minutes because my daughter is tattling, my son wants help putting his shoes on, or they want a different cartoon on the TV.  Daddy is on the couch, take it to him!

4.) I want to pee in peace.   I sometimes wonder if some sort of alarm goes off when I enter the bathroom, because every time, without fail, as soon as I drop my drawers and sit down, a child magically appears in front of me.  They will then always ask something very random that could have waited five more minutes.  "Mom, can we go for a walk after dinner?" or "Next year for my birthday, can we have a bouncy bounce?"  REALLY??  Its not really just the kids either, even the dog will come in and sit in front of me staring if I don't shut the door tight.

5.) I would like to sit through a meal (not made by me) and actually be able to eat it with everyone. This means: I don't care if I am eating blackened charcoal grilled cheese cooked by my husband. It will be the best blacked charcoal grilled cheese I have ever not had to prepare. My kids will get their own drink refill, not wait until I have finally sat down and put the first bite on my fork to pounce with the "I wants" (or better yet, they can GO ASK DADDY!). Not under any circumstance will I "hand feed" any of them because they have decided that regressing to an infant is the only way they will eat. If there is a condiment not on the table, I am not getting up to get it. Nor will I get up to turn on the light because the child asking thinks the Boogie Man will somehow grab them in the three foot distance between the table in the dining room and the light switch in the kitchen.


6.) I want an hour to read a book.  A very alone hour.  An hour that doesn't include a child crawling into my lap when I'm reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" and asking that I read aloud.  A magical hour where my kindle isn't scooped up if I put in down for a second, only to return to find said child seeing how many pages they can swipe through before I get back. 

7.) I want a day where every one's bodily functions are private.  I don't want to hear "Mommy, wipe me!" from my five year old, or "Oh my God Honey, look at this!" from my husband.  I don't need to know that my stepson's farts "smelled so bad at bed time last night" or that my daughter "blew a really giant booger."  If you're not going to die because of it, I don't need to know on Mother's Day.

8.) No means no. This applies to all situations on Mother's Day. No arguing, no whining, no crying, and no negotiating to get your own way. If I say no, just walk away. (This especially applies to any activities my husband thinks I would like to partake in after the kids have gone to bed.)


9.)  I want my kids go to bed and stay there. For once just as I sit down to relax, I don't want to hear a child jump out of bed. Which would usually my oldest because he needs a drink, a drink he didn't need 2 minutes ago when I asked before he got into bed. Then my daughter sees her brother wandering around and of course comes to investigate why. This now reminds the youngest that he needs Mommy to lay with him for "two minutes", so I am now beckoned back up the stairs. Of course after telling them all to get back into bed, my daughter needs another hug, my stepson is ninja fighting with his stuffed animals on his bed, and the little one is crying because Mommy is still not laying with him for "two minutes". This circle of events can take up to 30 minutes to subside. All the while my oblivious husband is downstairs relaxing in front of the TV. On Mother's Day...Daddy can put the kids to bed!

10.)  I want my children to know how much I love them.  This one speaks for itself.  Everyday, from now until I no longer walk this earth, and even after....they are the reason I breathe, the beat of my heart, every wish on every star, my motivation and inspiration, my first thought in the morning and my last when I shut my eyes, my reason to be.  And if having another 60 imperfect Mother's Days means we get to spend them together...I'm okay with that.





 

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