My Nemesis, My Friend...My Sister

"Sibling relationships outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship.  They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust."  ~Erica E. Goode


There has never been a time when my sister and I have been together and someone has said, "Now you two must be sisters." Our features are different, we have diverse fashion senses, and extremely dissimilar interests.  We are the very personification of opposites.  But in every way that matters, we are...sisters.

It seems we have always had what you would call a love/hate relationship. In our childhood scuffles, I was always considered the meeker of us two.  My sister loved to torture me relentlessly over anything and everything.  I, on the other hand, would feel bad if I hurt her feelings, and was always the first to relent in a good ole' fashion slap fight.  But heaven forbid someone picked on me on the bus or at school, she was the first one there to stick up for me.  Although, there were peaceful times when we were able to play Barbies and make believe for hours before it turned into"MOM!!! she said this..." or "MOM!!!! she did that...".

As the years passed and we became raging hormonal teenagers, our dislikes turned into all out hatred.  We battled over boys, clothes, and makeup, made up rumors, and told lies. Every once in a while we would call a "truce" and tell each other secrets and stories that we thought other sisters told each other.  Then a week later get mad and tattle to our parents everything we had learned in the utmost confidence.  I remember my own personal "best" was when my sister let me cut her bangs.  I thought she looked particularly pretty that day, and lets just say I fixed it!  To this day she is still reluctant around me with a pair of scissors.  My sister on the other hand was a little more upfront about things like that.  On more than one occasion I just got punched for doing something, saying something, or acting in a way she disapproved of.

While my sister was interested in riding dirt bikes, hunting, and horses, I liked hanging out with my friends, dresses, and shopping.  These differences also led us down separate paths after high school.  I went to college because I wanted "that experience".  My sister went to work with horses because that was her dream.  There was a time when we only interacted at family get togethers, or to wish each other a happy birthday.  I could feel the gap.  I missed my sister, and the hectic turmoil our relationship brought with it.  It was not that many years ago that we started to become close again, though we are still polar opposites.  I now have a desk job, babies, and a husband.  My sister still works outside with horses, is very content just having a neice and nephews, and has no interest in marrying her longtime boyfriend. 

It is only as an adult that I can fully appreciate the childhood we had together.  I can be thankful that we still have one another.  Most importantly, I know that we love each other unconditionally dispite what we have done to each other, in only a way sisters can.

My sister giving a toast at my wedding.