Confessions of a Soccer Mom/Coach

I just recently finished coaching my daughter's soccer team.  I'll admit I wasn't going in blind, I coached her Spring league last year so I at least had that under my belt.  Although what a difference a season can make!  When I say that I mean last season the kids were a little older, most of them already having played the previous Fall.  But this season, coaching 4,5 and 6 year olds (most of which had never played before), was certainly an...experience.

I only had six kids on my team, two girls, and four boys.  How do teachers do it with a room full of children??  I had one boy thinking he was playing tackle football, one boy (the biggest one I might add) afraid of the ball, one boy who spent more time laying on the ground than on his feet, and another that literally said "No." to everything I asked him to do.  I did have one very sweet little girl who was the youngest on the team who did everything that was asked of her, never cried when she got ran over, and was not afraid to try to steal the ball from even the biggest of players.  Now my own daughter...I will brag a little bit.  She is fantastic!  Really she is, she has so much potential and scored the majority of our goals.  But that is when she wasn't on the sidelines crying because "Mommy was playing with the other kids." or flipping cartwheels down the field, or wanted "Uppy Mommy". Seriously?? "Uppy"?!?!  I would leave wanting to pull my hair out, and then cringe because 90% of the time I was strapping the worst behaved one in the backseat of my car.  That was just practice.

Since my husband usually worked the night shift on Friday I would have to bring my whole brood to the games on Saturday morning.  I will give you a play by play of my typical experience with that whole mess:

"We arrive at the field, FINALLY, because Alex (my stepson) 'Didn't want to go to a stupid boring soccer game' and had to be dragged out the door..yes, me dragging and almost 9 year old boy kicking and screaming and stuffing him in my car!  And of course we can't forget that in the mean time Luke has sat in Jaid's car seat and even though they are basically the same thing, the princess cannot allow such an atrocity to take place. So they are slap fighting over me while I'm wrestling Alex into the middle seat belt.  After hauling Luke out of Jaid's seat, football carrying his squirming body to the other side of the car, buckling him in and sitting in my own seat, I hear "Mommy, you didn't buckle me", come out of Jaid's mouth (in her typical "tudalicious" tone).  I want to say "Are you freaking kidding me? Your six years old, stop being such a baby and buckle yourself."  But none of us wants to hear the cry fest that would ensue after that, so I reach around and do it myself.  There you have it, what should have taken five minutes has now taken twenty. 

So, YAY, we have made it to our destination!  Everyone piles out of the car and runs away leaving me to carry, the two folding chairs for the boys (which they won't sit in anyway, but God forbid they don't have the option), Jaid's drink (because she always forgets to grab it), a sweatshirt for everyone, and my own bag.  I go and drop those by the field and head off to get the balls and goals.  This is usually where my kids once again realise I exist and all come running so they can be the one to carry the ball bag or the goals.  And here comes the fight...three kids saying "gimme gimme gimme" and only two things that need to be carried.  Where were you all again when we got out of the car?  I could have used your hands then.

If you have ever set up a "pop up" goal you know what a health hazard it can be.  Pulling one out of its bag is the same feeling of anticipation you get when awaiting a Jack-in-the-box.  Never quite sure when its going to explode open because the person who used it last didn't secure it properly.  So its more like, pull it out real slow and careful, and then throw it and get out of the way!  By this time the other players have arrived, dug into the bag of balls, and are strategically kicking them at my head while I'm trying to post the goal to the ground.  While the team we are playing against are doing cute little warm-up drills on their side of the field, we are dribbling the balls around in a chaotic mass which I just chalk up to an obstacle course and make sure that every now and then they shoot the ball at the goal.  I don't want to embarrass myself by trying to be assertive when I know that at 9am, my team is waaayyyyy too hyper it even attempt to listen to me.

Now its game time!  Oh wait, I forgot that I have two boys running around somewhere in the vicinity and I try to pick them out.  You know, make sure they haven't killed each other.  They are ALIVE!, the game can go on.  So now I have three kids on the field, at least one of them whining because they wanted to play with the kid who is sitting on the sidelines, and at least one kid on the sidelines whining because they wanted to start.  I have learned to IGNORE this.  So the other team starts the ball, dribbles it two feet, just to have Jaid steal it, bring it down the field and score.  I know I should be proud, and I am, really I am.  But, after this happens five times in the first ten minutes of the game, it gets a little old.  Especially because she knows she's good, doesn't want to pass the ball no matter how many times I tell her to, and on several occasions has stolen the ball from her own team mate. Oh yes, we can't forget the show boating that comes after each goal when her Dad is there.  Where she runs off the field and he launches her into the air holding up the entire game.  I can see it now....the kid will be 16 still running off the field so Daddy can toss her in the air.  I want to crawl under a rock.  Eventually I have to pull her out of the game to give the other kids a chance...on both teams.

This is usually around the time when I hear Luke screaming bloody murder because he got creamed by Alex in the game of Tackle Football I told them not to play.  So they are sidelined for the remainder of their sister's game ( I knew I brought those chairs for a reason).  Oops, eyes on the game coach....someone other than Jaid actually has the ball, and they are dribbling toward the wrong goal!  Good thing we don't keep score.  On it goes "Stop laying on the ground.", "No pushing.", "We're not doing gymnastics out here.", "That person is on your team.", "Ewwww, don't wipe your boogers on them!"(true story).  And finally its over, kids scattering to their parents, just so I can gather them together again to line up and give high fives to the other team, but only after the arguing of who gets to be the leader this time.

I think I'm more exhausted than the kids are.  Packing up is just as bad as unpacking.  Fight over who gets to put the balls and goal away, but no one can carry our 'stuff' back to the car.  Now Jaid sits in Luke's seat to "see how he likes it", Alex doesn't want to leave with out buying candy from the snack place, Luke's mad because he didn't get to play in the game.  I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!  I feel like having a tantrum myself, but no, I'm the grown up."

There you have it...."A day in the life" so to speak.  So please, when you think your kids coach is cranky, or distracted, or just not doing a good enough job, just remember....they are doing the best they can.

  

I Have Been Linked!

So I'm still fairly new to this whole blogging thing and I often look to my good friend Sarah and her blog http://applepiespice.blogspot.com/ for tips, ideas, or just a good read.  While stalking her page today I came across her newest blog about a "Linky Party" where she has linked up with Mrs. Lemons from http://stepintosecondgrade.blogspot.com/ where you "Link Up" and tell all about the quirky little things that make you, you.  So I thought, now this could be fun and I joined in on the action.  So here goes.

1) I speak redneck.  By this I mean anything ending in "ing" is cut to "in", "you" often becomes "ya", instead of "get" I say "git", I condense several words into one, where "what are you" becomes "whatcha" and so on. I find this very irritating, and sometimes embarrassing  but I can't help it when I get talking too fast.



2)I love peanut butter.  I can put it on almost anything including hot dogs, bologna sandwiches, and cheese.

3) I am very girly, but my mom is not, so growing up I was taught how to ride a dirt bike, fish, camp in a tent, pee in the woods, change the oil in my car, shoot a gun, built forts, catch snakes and frogs, and go "night crawling"(hunting for worms at night).

4) As a kid, I was the fat friend.

An 8 yr old version of myself.

5) I used to have a really bad lisp which I have for the most part corrected over time, but you will never hear me say the title to the movie "The Sixth Sense"....I just can't do it.

6) I am obsessed with my giant, butt sniffing, drool flinging, constantly shedding, Newfoundland dog.  My husband swears I love that dog more than him.  I'm going to say its a tough call...lol.

Me playing with my puppy

7)I own my own cupcake business http://www.nicoleshouseofcupcakes.com/, but I have made so many cupcakes and cake pops now that the thought of actually eating them makes me gag....although they are very tasty!!!

Some of my creations. 

8) I am one of those parents that think they have the cutest kids in the entire world....only I secretly think its because my kids really are the cutest kids in the entire world!

9) I pledged a sorority in college where I had to do so many other people's dishes by hand that it cured me of my "dishwater" phobia.  I used to not even be able to put a dish in the sink for fear it would get wet and then have "dishwater" on it.

10) I have a love affair with my Kindle and I love, love, love, to read cheesy romance novels...even better if they have vampires, trolls, werewolves, zombies, angels, or any other supernatural main characters.  May I recommend "The Hollows" #1 and #2, the "Blood Like Poison" trilogy, the "My Blood Approves" trilogy, the "Trylle Trilogy", the "Tale of Lunamorte" trilogy, and of course the ever so popular "Twighlight Trilogy" and "Hunger Games Trilogy".

11) I have a gazillion cable channels but only watch HBO because I can't stand commercials.  With the exception of watching "The Walking Dead" on AMC.



12) My kids don't know the real ending to "Hush Little Baby"....I never had the heart to tell them "...down will come baby cradle and all."  So I say "...Mommy will catch you cradle and all."

13) I have a little bit of OCD when it comes to washing my hair, for some reason I absolutley CANNOT rinse it unless ALL the soap or conditioner has firsted been rinsed off of my hands....even though I'm just going to get them all soapy again when I touch my head.

Well I guess thats pretty much my quirks in a nutshell...I'm sure there are more, but I those alone are enough for you to think I'm crazy.  So now its your turn...go to http://stepintosecondgrade.blogspot.com/, and check out what this "Linky Party" is all about.



A Dedicaton to Those Gone too Soon

When you're a child, it often seems as though your entire life is a blank slate filled with unimaginable promise.  You daydream, you are inspired, you plan out your entire existence, and then change your mind and plan it out again.  You are young, untouchable, infallible.  In no ones plan do they play the part of, the "one", the "statistic", the "life cut too short".  Then it happens, that one incident a little too close to home where your ignorance is lost and you are now in a world where you are no longer immortal.

 I spent the last few days looking through some old photos.  You know, the ones where you are hugging your friends, laughing with care-free abandon,  the world is still your oyster, life is blissful.  And while flipping through I saw the faces of those that will be forever young in my mind, the faces of good friends, the faces that were my "reality check".  They paid the price, so I could learn the lesson.  Not a very good trade off if you ask me. 

So here I am, reminding all of you that there are no guarantees in life.  Do not take it for granted.  A life wasted is a slap in the face to those that lost theirs before they really started living it.  Love with everything you have and remind those closest to you everyday just how much you love them.  Take chances IN life, but not WITH your life.  Forgive, forget, move one...grudges take too much energy.  Never be too proud, or too scared to call your parents if your in a bad situation...no matter how old you are.  Don't accept anything less then what you deserve, life is too short to settle for less.  And always, always, appreciate the life you have because if fate had fallen differently, it could have been you.

Rest In Peace

Forever in our hearts.

4th of July Fun

As I think back on my childhood, I have a lot of good memories of special outings I went on with my parents.  Disney World, the Great Escape, camping, fishing, the beach, and the list goes on and on.  It truly was an "Ignorance is Bliss" experience.  I never knew the stress that came behind the scenes.

My husband and I decided to take the kids to Lake George for the 4th of July.  We spent the first hour there mini golfing at the Pirates Cove.  Luke and Jaid both made a "hole in one" and were super excited!  Although after the first swing they both seemed to go into "hockey" mode and pushed their ball into the hole with the club rather than putting it.  Then they would jump up and down, give us all a high five, and ask if there was a "next hole". ("Worth it" moment #1) Jerry even seemed to be enjoying himself and announced after the 5th hole that he would no longer be keeping score because he was kicking all of our butts.  Which was completely true, I am terrible at Mini Golf and even the kids were beating me on most of the holes.

After golf we went for ice cream where both of the kids had to get theirs in a cone even though they don't eat the cone and always end up asking for a spoon. (Which of course was true in this case as well)  At this point Jerry was starting to get antsy because the kids were getting restless and it drives him absolutely CRAZY not having them seated and well behaved.  So lets just say that he is crazy all the time..lol!  Then 2 ice cream stained,chocolate smeared cheeked children later, we were off to our next adventure. Which was the Haunted Wax Museum.  Jaid was very excited for this and put on her brave front, even asking to be lifted up if there was an exhibit she couldn't get a good look at.  While poor Luke whined and held on to Jerry for dear life through out the entire place.  At one point Jerry even thought Luke had peed himself!  Luckily he hadn't.  But all Jaid talked about for the rest of the night was how she wanted to go back through, and could we do it again next time. ("Worth it" moment #2)

By this time is was getting later and we wanted to get a good spot for the fire works, so we made our way back to the beach.  We had parked our car in one of those $10 for the day spots and Jerry walked back to get our chairs and blanket.  Several cart wheels, hand stands, bug searches, and photo shoots later he finally  returned.  It probably only took him about 20 minutes but anyone who's had to entertain a 4 and 5 year old, with nothing other than a camera, knows that can feel like a lifetime.  So now we are set!  The only problem is, it's 8:30 and the fire works don't start until 9:30.  I will fast forward what happens until then... whining, "I Spy", crying, catching bugs, Jerry is CRAZY, Jaid steps in dog poop, glow necklace ring toss, more whining, playing puppies, wrestling, screaming, Jerry is SUPER CRAZY, eating brownies, eww there's a bug on me!, "Simon Says", now the kids are fighting , mommy is mean, Jerry is going to BLOW!!!, oh look the fire works are starting. Phew!  Now I have never seen my children sit so still for such an extended period of time, they did not move an inch for the entire show, except to clap their little hands with delight. ("Worth it" moment #3)

After it was all over we packed up our things and made the trek back to our car.  Packing in the kids we start to notice that everyone is literally pulling from their spot and going for the exit.  Of course in a parking lot with 1 exit and about 300 cars, this is not working and the gridlocked mess that is happening is just insane.  So after sitting in one spot for about 30 minutes we decide to look for a different way out. We followed a car that has pulled down a section of fence.  Yup, we were "those people", but so was everyone else once they saw what was going on and now traffic was gridlocked in 2 places but luckily we were out!  So we think we caught a break.  Oh we are so silly.  Lets just say after an hour and a half of Jerry cursing, complaining, blaming me for wanting to come, swearing we would never do this again, and then some more cursing because he ran out of chew....we were finally on the high way headed home.  Did I mention I had to pee since before we got in the car?

But as I put it to him, we have to make memories for the kids.  The end of the day was really crappy but up until then it was really nice, the kids had a great time.  Through all the standstill traffic, and "venting" as I'll call it, the kids were blissfully sleeping in the back seat, completely unaware anything was amiss.  Which I am positive was the case when I was a kid, when we were all kids.  Just because it's easier to stay home and do nothing doesn't mean that that is the way to go.  So in the end I think the headache of it all was worth it. And when my kids are grown with families of their own, they too will know what goes on behind the scenes of all their treasured childhood memories.

The Little Things

Watching the simplicity of my children playing outside in the beautiful weather we had this past weekend really had me reminiscing about my own childhood.  So I took some time to reflect on the little things that I really missed about being young and carefree.

20 things I took for granted as a kid :

1) Running barefoot through the grass.
2) Catching frogs in a pond.
3) Building forts in the woods.
4) The "Magic Mommy Fairy" cleaning up after me.
5) Having someone to do my laundry.
6) Riding in the car and not having to pay attention to where I was going.
7) Having no responsibilities other than existing.
8) Playing "Hide and Seek" in the dark.
9) Sleepovers
10) Going to the "Drive-ins" with my Dad.
11) Going camping every weekend in the summer.
12) Swimming in my Grandma's pool.
13) Believing in Mythical Creatures
14) Living in the middle of no where.
15) Riding a dirt bike.
16) Seeing my best friends everyday.
17) Believing in magic.
18) The healing power of a "kissed boo boo".
19) Catching fireflies.
20) Not caring if my hair was brushed when I left the house.

I'm sure I could sit here and think of 20 more things I miss about being young.  That is why I keep telling my kids to cherish everyday and stop wishing away their youth, adulthood comes too fast and there is no rewind button.

Mom, I'm Bored!

I seem to have been stressed to the max this last week with the kids being on Spring break.  Not that I'm with them all day long, no, I get to kiss my desk every morning.  But going home to a messy house, 3 bickering kids with a lot of pent up energy, and 110 lb puppy who is just as excitable, has really brought me to my boiling point.

 But nothing seems to have irked me more though than the phrase, "I'm bored".  When it comes to "things", my kids are spoiled.  They have a Playstation2, a Wii, a DS, rows upon rows of movies, 700 cable channels, rooms over flowing with various toys and games, a walk in closet dedicated to arts, crafts, and coloring supplies.  Then we go outside and find a basketball hoop, a two story clubhouse, a sandbox, every different kind of ball you could imagine, bicycles for everyone, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and the list goes on and on.  But I still get an "I'm bored". 

When I was young I was not allowed to have video games, playing outside if it wasn't below freezing was mandatory, chores were a daily activity, and the 2 channels that "sort of" came in on the TV weren't worth watching.  When I had children I had decided I didn't want to turn out to be a "mean parent" and make my kids do the mundane things I found to be "dreadful" or "boring" or deprive them of anything I had wanted as a child.  But I see now that those things are necessary for shaping ones character.  I have turned my children into lazy, snotty, little brats, that think the world should be handed to them on a silver platter, and have no idea how to use their imaginations! 

How will I fix this?  Well, I do have a plan.  The "Mean Mommy" shall surface and rooms will be cleaned out, video game and movie stock piles will be depleted, chores will be assigned, TV will be limited, and if I hear the words "I'm bored" they will be scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush!  I know, I am a big talker, and when it comes down to it, it will probably be more of a gradual work in progress, yes, my finger are crossed for progress.  

 My children have been too sheltered and spoiled, and its time to actually do something about it.  I'm sure they will enjoy the fishing, camping, and hiking trips my husband and I have planned for this summer.  And they will detest the chore charts, reading time, toy elimination, losing privileges for bad behavior, and my personal favorite "soap in the mouth" for bold words, that is also on the agenda.  If there is anything I have learned so far, its that parenthood is an ever evolving journey, and no one can do it perfectly.  That sometimes its OK to be the "meany" and have your kids say they hate you because they can't have what they want.  In the end I wasn't put here to be their "friend", I am their parent, their role model, the one who is ultimately responsible for who they become, and it's time I put on my big girl pants and started acting like it!

So I guess I will keep you all informed as to how this one goes........Wish me luck!!



Cutting the Cord

My baby boy is growing up.  Now when I say "baby" I use the term loosely, as he will be four in May.  But there is just something about letting the last one go that I am totally unprepared for.  Perhaps it's because as I am making the final curtain call on my baby days, my closest friends are just entering theirs.  Or maybe its the feeling of no longer being completely depended upon, or even the thoughts that time is just going by too quickly.

With my daughter, I rushed her through her baby days after my son was born.  I didn't have the time or the patience for two kids under two and thats just what I had.  By the age of 2 1/2 Jaid was dressing herself with little help and just about potty trained.  She walked on her own two feet when we went places, had to ride in the back of the shopping cart, and I often asked her to help me out with small tasks.  When bold, she was put in Time Out and forced to sit at the dinner table until her vegetables were gone.  But she was happy being the "Big Girl" and liked to do big girl things. 

Luke, well lets just say he has gotten to be a "baby" alot longer.  Being the youngest, both my husband and myself have always gone easiest on him, didn't expect as much, or push him as hard.  To say he is spoiled would be an understatement.  Looking back I realize this has hindered him far more than helped him.  He just recently finished his potty training, still has no clue on how to dress himself and no desire to learn, throws a tantrum at dinner time when there isn't something he likes on his plate, and usually doesn't get punished until he's on his third "last chance".  So for my own selfish reasons I have been, in fact, harming my child by not preparing him for the real world.

This must change and slowly I have been taking the steps to let him go as a baby, because if I really admit it to myself, he has even surpassed the toddler stage.  It's time I "cut the cord" so to speak.  He is completely capable of putting on his own shoes, he does not need me to carry him through the parking lot, and no matter how much he cries and carries on cookies are not a suitable breakfast food.  Just because he will always be MY baby, doesn't mean he has to BE a baby.  So as I say goodbye to my last "Little One" I will embrace the Big Boy who will emerge in his place.  There are many more wonderful milestones still to come, and I will enjoy everyone of them.